The Final Post

I met with Dr. Gebara yesterday and finally got the word - I am officially in remission. I still have two more radiation treatments to go, tomorrow and Thursday, then it's off to the Cape for the summer to hang at the beach with our kiddies and forget all about cancer. I was very blessed to have a highly curable form of cancer and to have such good doctors and nurses, both here at BMC and in Boston at Beth Israel. But I am even more blessed to have the family and friends that have been so wonderful to both Nancy and me. I have to start with my lifetime partner, my wife Nancy. Not only did she have the job of taking care of me and doing all the worrying (I'm just no help there), but she had to put up with all my goofy blog jokes at her expense. She handled it all with wonderful grace and humor. And only socked me a few times. And then there's the kids and their spouses and the grandkids, who worried about me even though I didn't want them to and made sure I knew I was never alone. My extended family, sisters and brother and many nieces and nephews and cousins, Nancy's family, and I'll include my old friend Al, was always there too, calling frequently and letting me know I wasn't forgotten. Finally, all the good friends we've made over the years we've been in Lenox, and colleagues at BCC, kept in touch. A lot of you even made the ultimate sacrifice and read my blog! As much as all of you have meant to me, you have also taught me a lesson. I've often wondered, during the last few months, whether I would have been as good if the situation were reversed. Being an introvert, I wonder if I would reach out as so many of you have done for me. I think now I would be much more likely to do so.

When I started this blog I only intended it to be a record of my battle with cancer. I have to say that I mostly enjoyed writing it. It certainly helped me fill the many hours I had free during my chemo at the Cape. But the fight is over, cancer is out cold on the mat, and life goes on, even if the blog doesn't. Tons of love to you all.

Laziness

I like the word 'indolence'. It makes my laziness seem classy.

Bern Williams 

It is often laziness and timidity that keep us within our duty while virtue gets all the credit.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld 

Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
Jules Renard

OK, I'm trying to justify my failure to post an entry in almost a month. I admit I don't understand the second quote but I really like the other two. Anyway, I was made aware of my dereliction several weeks ago at the party for Jill and Normunds when a good friend mentioned how he looks at my blog every day - poor fellow - and how disappointed he was to find nothing new (I'm talking to you, Dave). I suspect it was this same friend who, when Al introduced himself as my friend from high school, remarked "You mean Ed had a friend in high school?" In fact, I'm pretty sure I had two friends in high school. My editor, Editor Nancy, has also been bugging me about doing a new post, though obviously not hard enough. So the blame falls squarely on her as well, perhaps, as on my inherent laziness.

The Party

Quite a lot has happened in the last month. I managed, with a little help from my friends, to get all the repairs from the tree damage completed before the party. The party was wonderful. Chef Nancy (also known as Mom Nancy) cooked an incredible amount of delicious food, enough for a couple of more parties, and, along with dishes that folks brought to the party, it was a real feast. We had a beautiful sunny day with about 60 guests. In addition to friends who have known Jill since she was a baby, and neighbors from Lenox, my New Jersey family came up, Nancy's family came over from the Albany area, Pete and family came from the Cape and Jen, Jill and Normunds and Normunds' best friend Boris and his girlfriend came up from the City. My brother Bill drove up from West Virginia for the weekend. It's wonderful to have him back from Europe; we'll get to see him a lot more now. And, of course, Al drove out from Minneapolis, not to see Nancy or me but to meet Normunds, whose art he admires. There were at least ten little kids and they had a ball playing soccer, chasing each other around and running seemingly nonstop for three or four hours. God, I wish I had half that energy. So thanks to everyone who joined us to celebrate with Jill and Normunds.

Radiation

I started my radiation a couple of weeks ago at BMC and have four treatments left, unless the doc decides to do some more. I should find out when I see him Monday. The radiation is done five days a week, Monday through Friday. The procedure is painless and very quick; I get about 20 seconds on a side (front and back) and that's it. My appointment is at 8:15 AM and they often take me early. A number of times I've been back in my car headed home by 8:15. Not surprisingly, the technicians that administer the treatments, as well as my doctor, the nurses and office staff, are very professional, warm and friendly. There are side effects but not as bad as with chemo. For me, with the radiation going to my mid-chest area, the main side effect is a soreness and burning of the throat which started about halfway through the treatments. The doctor prescribed a liquid which is a combination of Maalox, benedryl and lidocaine, which numbs the throat temporarily and eases the burning. The other side effect is fatigue and I have noticed I have less energy as the treatments have progressed. I'm taking a long nap almost every afternoon, something I don't usually do. Fortunately, the side effects should disappear when the treatments stop.

The Relay

The Relay for Life, which so many of you so generously contributed to, started at 4 PM yesterday and will run until 4 PM today. Nancy decided to walk with me this year and we walked with my sister Joan from 10 - 11 this morning. For Joan, who is the captain (i.e., organizer) of her team, it was probably her fifth or sixth walk since Friday. She stays the whole 24 hours and doesn't even try to sleep Friday night. They had some terrible weather late Friday afternoon, thunderstorms and winds, but today was nice - warm and dry. The energy and enthusiasm at the relay are amazing, with participants of all ages from little ones in strollers to some folks even older than Nancy and me. It is truly a celebration of hope and triumph over cancer. 

Wow!

I want to thank all of you who have contributed to my Relay for Life walk. When I look at the donations I've received  - both online and by check - I can only say, Wow! Your generosity has been overwhelming. I know I don't need to say what an important cause this is. We have all been touched by cancer, either in our own lives or those of our families, friends, acquaintances. The long history of cancer treatment has been one of incremental advances supported by both government and private organizations. The American Cancer Society has certainly been a major factor in these advances. So know that the money you have contributed will be well spent and hopefully lead to more lives saved.

Our local Relay will take place on June 17 - 18 this year at Onota Lake in Pittsfield.  If any of you have ever thought of participating, I can only tell you it is a lot of fun. It is as much a celebration as a fund raiser. Feel free to check it out on one of those days. So far the weather has been perfect the three years that I've been doing the Relay, which leads me to conclude that the Relay will always take place on a beautiful, sunny day.

If you are still thinking of making a donation, it's not too late. The easiest way is to donate online using a credit card. Just click on this link. Or you can mail me a check made out to The American Cancer Society. Any amount is greatly appreciated.

So once again, to all you wonderful folks who have contributed, a huge Thank You for your generosity and commitment.

A Step

We foiled the weatherman today and had an absolutely beautiful day. The sun even peeked out a few times (it's shining bright right now). But no rain. So Nancy and I got the biggest of the damaged steps replaced. The rest will get replaced when I get more mortar (I underestimated) and make a cut in the other stone. We also got a bunch of yard work done, weeding, laying down mulch, mowing the front lawn and I even made five pounds of Armenian cheese (yum). And I got up to BCC first thing this morning to visit some good friends and catch up a bit. All in all a good day.

I'm feeling good, eating well. Tomorrow is the official end of my last cycle of chemo, and I suppose all the bad chemicals have now left my system. I'm tempted to say good riddance, but in truth they probably saved my life. But, regardless, I won't miss them. Everyone tells me the radiation is much easier than chemo, and I'm all for that. So now I have a couple of weeks where I can forget about cancer and and just do the things I would normally do: work around the house, visit friends and family, go out a bit, drive Nancy crazy. Life is good.

Scans n' Things

I've been getting serious flak from my editor for not posting more often. She's right; I'm really a very lazy person. But, as I'm sure she would admit if pressed, also very lovable, which I'd say makes up for my few minor deficiencies.

I finally got the results of my last PET scan yesterday. Though not completely clear (darn it), the mass has shrunk from the last scan and the little bit of glowing that remains is, according to Jason, most likely not cancer but rather some inflammation. There's no way to tell from the scan if it's cancer or not, but he and the doc are certain that the radiation treatments will eliminate any cancer that may remain. I'll get a final PET scan about a month after the radiation is completed. Yesterday I had a CT scan at BMC to prepare for the radiation. Over the next two weeks a team consisting of the radiation oncologist, a physicist and I'm not sure who else, will plan the course of treatment and lay out the exact parameters for the X-ray machine. They even try the plan out with a dummy before they start on me (no wisecracks please). So I should start the treatments about the end of May and finish up about a month later.

It's the rainy season here in the Berkshires, along with the rest of the East Coast. We've been getting as much of the outside work done as possible when we can. I'm waiting for a break in the weather so I can repair the steps and the siding damaged by the fallen tree. Other than that we manage to keep busy with getting the house in order and preparing for Jill and Normunds' party.

Back in the Berkshires

I had no idea how long it has been since I posted until Nancy told me she misses reading my blog. Poor thing. She really needs to get a life. Well, we're officially back home in the Berkshires. I know because I watched my dear wife walk out in her nightgown and coat at 5:30 this morning to get the Eagle from the box at the end of the driveway. It doesn't matter when she wakes up, at 2 AM or 7 AM, the first thing she does is get the Eagle, then make coffee and do the sudoku. The house could be burning down, I could be lying on the floor unconscious, but those three things would get done before she dialed 911.

It's a beautiful Spring in the Berkshires. We love seeing everything in bloom. Our lawn is green and the tulips Nancy planted last Fall were showing off for us when we got back Monday. We really enjoyed being on the Cape this Spring. The love and support we got from Pete and Melissa were so important to us both. And to be so close to our beloved grandkids was truly a blessing (and I am going to beat Jacob at soccer one of these days; just gotta keep practicing). We also enjoyed the friendship of our neighbors at Sea Meadow Village. But it's great to be back in the Berkshires, our home for the last 35 years. We truly have the best of both worlds. The weather has been beautiful so far and today looks like another nice day. We went back to Boston yesterday to meet with Dr. T. and to get my PET scan. The meeting with the doc was canceled because my numbers from last week's blood work were so good he didn't need to see me. I'll get the results of the scan in a few days and hopefully they'll be good. This morning I'll head up to BMC to meet with the radiation oncologist to plan for my radiation treatments.

It's nice to be finished with chemo. In spite of the warnings that the side effects would worsen with successive treatments, it seems that for the last couple of cycles my recovery has been easier. I only had a few days of stomach problems and feel great now. And now that the chemo's over I can get back to eating a more healthy diet, mainly cutting out a lot of the red meat I was eating to help keep the blood counts up. Also, I'm going to have to stop pigging out on goodies now that my weight is just about back to normal. The free pass has expired and I don't want to end up twice my original size.

Well, Nancy finally finished the sudoku and so I get to read the front page. It is good to be back home.

Blogs

I just finished reading the latest post from my old friend Al's newly revived blog. Al and I have been good friends since ninth grade. Unfortunately we now live half a continent apart, but still stay as close as brothers. Al's blog, The Diatribe, is aptly titled. Al is one of the smartest people I know (though I had to get him through Algebra in eleventh grade; sorry, old friend), but he doesn't suffer fools or foolishness easily. He'll probably post whenever something annoys him, which should be quite often. He's a real writer, a lifelong advertising copywriter still working at his advanced age, not a pretend writer like yours truly.


Our daughter-in law Melissa, the mother of our grandkids, is a nurse practitioner who has been a stay-at-home mom since Jacob was born seven years ago. In addition to taking care of two kids, she is very involved in school and community affairs, and is very much a leader in whatever she undertakes. For the last year she has been raising chickens and now has quite a brood. To get an idea of her involvement, and of her artistic ability, take a look at her blog, Tilly's Nest.  She also recently started a community garden at Jacob's school and has mobilized a tremendous amount of community support to help her. Naturally, she has another blog for the garden, The Garden at BCHMCPS. In addition to the garden, Melissa has taught gardening to enrichment clusters of students in grades K-3 at Jacob's school. In her own words (from the  garden blog):

During the first week, we learned about seeds and created seed wreaths.  Last week, we learned about composting.  We built our own worm composter by combining worms, soil, newspaper, egg shells, lettuce and various microorganisms.  The students had a fantastic time and so did we.  This worm composter will transition into our garden this Spring.  Tomorrow, we will be learning about growing zones.  We will be planting potatoes utilizing two different techniques and attempt to grow a pineapple. 

I've told her that if I ever owned a company (which I wouldn't), I'd choose her for my CEO. Screenshots of the blogs are below. Wish I had just a fraction of that artistic ability...

The Chicken Blog

The Garden Blog

Finally, I have to mention another blog I've been following. My daughter Jill sent me a link shortly after I started treatment. Ezra is a New Yorker, the brother of a friend of Jill's, who has been battling colorectal cancer since August 2008. He has been through hell and back. He is an amazing writer and an amazing person, truly inspirational. When I read his posts I realize how easy I've had it, how almost trivial my problems have been. Ezra has a great sense of humor and a marvelous spirit. His language is often raw - he is after all a New Yorker - but if you are not too delicate it's well worth a look. The blog is at Teaching Cancer to Cry.

I met with the radiologist today in Boston. The plan is for me to get 3 - 4 weeks of radiation at BMC, starting in late May and going through late June if they can schedule me in. The radiation should get anything the chemo might have missed. Then, hopefully, I'll be done with doctors and hospitals for a while.

The Last Dose

A big day today. I took my last dose of Prednisone, thus officially completing my chemotherapy regimen. Now it's recovery time and wait for the hair to start growing back. Tomorrow we go up to Boston to meet the radiologist and see whether there will be some radiation in my future. The rest of the week is pretty busy too. Thursday a follow-up visit with my primary care doc here on the Cape (one of  Pete's colleagues) and a visit with the neurosurgeon to discuss the disc surgery I still need for my back - and hopefully will have this summer. Then Friday I will meet with a VA rep to file a claim for possible Agent Orange benefits (see earlier post). After another trip to Boston next week for the final meeting with Jason and DR. T., we'll head home to Lenox for the rest of May and June.

So how did I celebrate this momentous day? By making shea butter cream, of course. This time with stink (Lavender) for the ladies. Even used fancy jars. One for Nancy and one for each of the girls. The house still stinks, but I'm surviving. We also went for a hike with Maddy and Pete to Long Pasture, an Audubon sanctuary nearby. It sits on the bay and has nice hiking trails and a small farm with turkeys, sheep and goats. It had chickens, but their house got taken out by a large tree that fell, and the survivors were relocated. There's also a nice visitor's center. The kids love the place.

Tomorrow is day 6 of the cycle and almost on schedule I'm starting to feel a little nauseous. I don't know if I'm just psyching myself out, but based on the previous cycles it should only last a few days. No big deal.

The Cue Ball

As promised, my before and after chemo shots of, as Jacob calls it, my "cue ball". I was talking to a cousin a few weeks ago and she told me about her niece who had undergone chemotherapy for lymphoma and lost all her hair. When her hair came back it was thicker and more lustrous than it had been before. So, being an optimist, I decided my formerly sparse, white hair would come back thick and black, like thirty years ago. When I mentioned this to my son he responded, in his best bedside manner, "Don't count on it, Dad". Thanks, kid.

Here I am before starting chemo. Nancy got me as I was heading off to work one morning last Fall.

Heading Off to Teach Last Fall

And just yesterday. Nancy took this as I was getting ready for the trip to Boston. Just a fringe left on top, though strangely, my eyebrows have grown thicker since the chemo. I'm told both pictures show off my "prominent" Armenian nose. Also, the chemo seems to have aged me a bit.

Yesterday Morning

In other news, I woke up too early this morning feeling slightly nauseous. So I dug out the acupressure bands, looked up the acupressure points Jennifer had given me, and dug out the ginger tea. Haven't had the tea yet, but the acupressure seems to be helping. Otherwise I feel pretty good. We just got back from a rather leisurely walk by the harbor. The boat from Nantucket had just docked and dropped off a bunch of high school kids from a sports team, presumably for a game against one of the local schools. It won't be long before we'll be taking that walk in shorts and t-shirts. I can't wait.

It's Over, Finally

Thank God it's over. It has been weeks, nay months of suffering, hoping to make it to the finish line with sanity intact. And today we got there. The two Brits finally got married!  Can I now please hear no more of it? Thank you.

Oh, and yes, today I had my last chemo treatment. It seemed to take longer than usual, but otherwise was just more of the same. The traffic going home was horrendous; we left the hospital at 3:30 and got home at 7:30, with an hour off to eat supper. It still took about twice as long as it should have. Next Wednesday I'll go back to Boston to meet with the chief radiologist and find out whether I'll be getting radiation. I thought it was the oncologist's call, but apparently it's her call. If I do have to get radiation it will probably be in June and I'll get it at BMC in Pittsfield. Jason described it again as an insurance policy. My last scan was very good and they're sure the chemo will end up getting all the cancer. But just in case there's something still there hiding where the scan can't spot it...

Tomorrow morning we'll go to see Jacob's soccer, his second of the Spring season but the first for us. He's getting pretty good, the result of several years in the league.

I don't think I'm going to lose any more hair, so tomorrow I'll post some before and after pictures of the noggin.

Easter

We had a wonderful Easter Sunday in New Jersey. My sister Lucille and brother-in-law Ronnie put out an over the top spread. Ronnie, who is an accomplished chef, made his signature ham (many have tried to copy it, none have succeeded), as well as eggplant parmesan, stuffed shells, mashed sweet potatoes, a delicious lasagne from their daughter-in-law Jessica, and a broccoli and cheese casserole from Nancy. Truly there was enough food to feed several dozen people. I did my share, eating more or less nonstop all day.

The weather was great, hot and sunny, so we were able to sit out on the deck all afternoon, enjoying appetizers and a cooler full of drinks on ice. Lucille's grandkids Jack and Lulu, ages 5 and 4, had a ball and kept the older cousins, Jill and Normunds and Lucille's four kids, busy while we grandparents watched the action. My little brother Bill came up from West Virginia for the weekend. It's always great to see him, and now that he's no longer living in Holland, we'll see him a lot more often. The only disappointment of the day was that my younger sister Joan, returning Saturday from New Mexico, was diverted from the St. Louis airport to Baltimore and missed her connection home. She didn't get home to Sheffield until 11:30 Sunday and had to miss Easter with us. But then again she's retiring in just a few weeks so don't feel sorry for her.

On our way home to Lenox we stopped in my New Jersey hometown, Pompton Lakes, to buy crumb buns from a bakery that has been in town since I was a kid. The crumb buns are amazing, mostly crumb stacked on a wee bit of cake. Unfortunately we didn't get to taste them because the bakery is closed on Monday. But we did take a nice walk through the town to see my old home. The downtown, which had been a shopping hub for the surrounding area when I lived there, had gone downhill in recent years, but looked much nicer this time after a facelift last Fall. Pompton has undergone a lot of growth since my day, but in many ways hasn't really changed. It was a great place to grow up and I'm guessing it still is.

After an overnight in Lenox, we left this morning for the Cape and arrived, fairly wiped out, around noon. Way too much driving over three days, but more than worth it. We had a late lunch, then both napped, pretty much killing the rest of the day. Friday it's back to Boston for my last chemo treatment. Then back again the following Wednesday to meet with the radiology team to plan for the radiation treatment.

Weather

For those of you who live in more temperate climes, here's what we woke up to this morning:

Thank goodness we're going to be down south for Easter, well New Jersey, which is south of us I believe, and probably won't have a White Easter like Lenox seems to be headed for. Ah, the joys of New England weather. But in truth, I wouldn't live anywhere else. I've experienced the utter boredom, the ennui, of Southern California weather, which ranges from sunny to hazy, where there are two seasons, green and brown, and where a neighbor used to rake the few turning leaves off his trees in the fall. A writer in the L.A. Times once summarized the Southern California experience perfectly for me in the line "another s**t day in paradise". It truly resonated at the time, shortly before we finally moved back east. And I've lived down south, in Florida and Texas, courtesy of the Navy. Thankfully both experiences were relatively short. I haven't lived in the heartland, but have driven through it many times on our cross-country jaunts. I can only say that until you've driven through Kansas in 104 degree heat with a car full of kids and the air-conditioner on the blink, you haven't lived. Or may wish you hadn't. We always breathed a sigh of relief when we finally saw the Rockies on the horizon.

My sister Joan is flying back today from a week's vacation in Taos and Santa Fe, NM. Even though we've visited there many times, I'm still jealous. I love the southwest, the desert and the Native American and Hispanic culture, but it's another place I wouldn't want to live.

I hope I haven't insulted anyone's ancestral home; if so, I apologize. It's all a matter of taste. I just like the Northeast, and New England in particular.

It has been a very productive visit home. We made a lot of progress in getting the place cleaned up. We were going to finish cleaning the yards today but nature intervened, so we'll work inside instead. I'm feeling my usual last-week-of-cycle good, eating non-stop but still not gaining any weight (but not losing any either). It should be interesting when  the treatments end and I keep eating like this.

I mentioned in a recent post that my son-in-law Normunds is an artist. I forgot to note that he has a website devoted to his art. It can be found at http://normundsbruveris.com/ and is worth a look.

The Maddy Interview

After Jacob's interview yesterday, I interviewed our four-year old granddaughter Madeline. Maddy is an adorable little girl with a strong will and a mind of her own. She attends a Montessori pre-school where she has learned a lot, including being able to count to twenty in Spanish (that's ten more than her grandpa can do) and to one hundred in English. Here is Maddy in her own words.

Ed: Hi sweetheart. What are you doing now?
Maddy:  Painting.
Ed: What are you painting?
Maddy:  A doggy.
Ed: What colors are you painting the dog?
Maddy: Red, black, purple, green, yellow and orange. 
Ed: Wow, that's a colorful doggy! What's your favorite thing to do in school?
Maddy: Water play. It's in Lynn's room.
Ed: Do you like to help Grandma make cookies?
Maddy:  Yeah. Because it's so fun. 
Ed: What's your favorite kind of cookie to make with Grandma?
Maddy:  Molasses cookies. I like them because they taste good.
Ed: Do you ever make a mess when you make cookies?
Maddy: No. Sometimes. Sometimes I make a big mess.
Ed: What is you favorite TV show to watch?
Maddy:  Yo Gabba Gabba.
Ed: Why is it your favorite show?
Maddy:  Because it's for kids.
Ed: What do you think about your brother?
Maddy:  He's so freaky. He's fun to play with.
Ed: Does he ever teach you anything?
Maddy:  He teaches me naughty things. Once we blew soap bubbles in the house. (Busted! Their dad just heard the whole exchange.) 
Ed: Maddy, who is your favorite cartoon character?
Maddy:  Tom and Jerry. I like to watch them all the time.
Ed: Who do you root for, Tom or Jerry?
Maddy:  Tom.
Ed: Why do you root for Tom?
Maddy:  Because I like Tom. He's so awesome.
Ed: What are you doing now?
Maddy:  I'm rolling up paper in the water. Like this. It's like a soup.
Ed: Do you like me interviewing you?
Maddy: No.
Ed: Do you want to stop doing the interview?
Maddy: Yes. 

The Jacob Interview

My grandson Jacob has been visiting us,along with his family, for the last two days. Jacob is a bright, active seven-year old who attends second grade at a Horace Mann charter school in Hyannis on the Cape. Horace Mann charter schools are part of the local school district (his is the Barnstable public schools) and do not take funding away from the school district, but are able to do things that are not part of the standard contract. I decided to interview Jacob, to try to get inside the mind of today's seven-year old.

Ed: Good morning Jacob. Who are those animals you're carrying?
Jacob: Blackie, Snauzer Baby, Dasher and Buster.
Ed: Wow. That's a lot of animals. What kind of animals are they?
Jacob: Blackie is a cat. Snauzer Baby is a dog. Dasher is a reindeer. And Buster is a dog.
Ed: Don't they keep you awake at night?
Jacob: No. They help me sleep.
Ed: So, what do you want for breakfast?
Jacob: I want Mickey Mouse pancakes.
Ed: And who's going to make them for you?
Jacob: Grandpa is going to make them for me.
Ed: Really? Are you sure he will?
Jacob: Yes, cause he always does.
Ed: Are they edible?
Jacob: Yes, they're really good and edible.
Ed: Flattery will get you everywhere, young man. So, what is your favorite video game?
Jacob: That's a tough one. I guess it is Kirby's Epic Yarn. You are this little pink guy named Kirby and you have to kill the evil guy, Yin-Yarn. He's the boss of the whole game. But I already beat him because I passed the whole game. 
Ed: Do you play video games with your friends?
Jacob: Yes. I played Kirby's Epic Yarn with my friend Ben. I also like Just Dance. It has popular songs like Monster Mash. There's a shadow and you have to copy the moves. If you do it better than the other guy, you win. I also play that with Ben. 
Ed: Do you ever get to higher levels in the games?
Jacob: Yes because in Kirby Superstar Ultra I got up to the last level, Helper to Hero. I got up to the thirteenth boss and his second form. I was just about to kill him with the rock guy. He had only a little health left. One more hit and he would die. But then he dropped jewels on me and I died.
Ed: I don't know what you're talking about, but I'm sorry to hear that you died. I once got all the way to level one in a video game. Pretty good, huh?
Jacob: No. That's bad because you start on level one, so that means you've beaten no levels yet.
Ed: Speaking of sports, what is your favorite sport to play?
Jacob: Soccer.
Ed: How long have you been playing soccer?
Jacob: Three or four years. In the Barnstable Youth League.
Ed: Why is soccer your favorite sport?
Jacob: Because it's fun.
Ed: What position do you like to play?
Jacob:  I like to play defense and center.
Ed: You and I have played soccer a few times. Who usually wins, Grandpa or Jacob?
Jacob: Me. You never win. 
Ed: Ouch! So, Jacob, have you seen any movies lately?
Jacob: Yep. I saw Hop. It was about this guy who couldn't get a job and when he was a little kid he saw the Easter Bunny and the chicks flying the Easter sleigh. In one part of the movie the guy didn't want the bunny to live with him so he said "Great, I've got a talking bunny that can also poop out candy". You and Grandma should see it. It's really funny.
Ed: We'll put it on our list. So, what's your favorite subject in school?
Jacob: I like math and reading.
Ed: Well, you're a man after my own heart. What do you like about math?
Jacob: I like doing multiplication and logic puzzles.
Ed: And what do you like to read these days?
Jacob: I like to read the Kingdom of Fantasy books. There are many books in the series. I finished the original two and some of the newer ones. I also read the Diary of a Wimpy Kid books. I finished the whole series and I'm reading them again.
Ed: Where are you going?
Jacob: I don't want to do any more interviews.
 
And that was the end of the interview. Jacob got his Mickey Mouse pancakes as usual. Next time, an interview with our four-year old, Maddy. As for me, I'm feeling pretty good, with the evil days 6-10 behind me. One more treatment and I'll be done with chemo, hopefully for good.

Normunds

Had my follow up with Dr. T. and Jason yesterday. All my counts look good, maybe the best yet. My fatigue lately is to be expected, according to Jason, who compared my situation now to hitting Heartbreak Hill at the tail end of the marathon (Boston Marathon of course, which will be run this Monday). But then again, I'm almost done, so no complaints here.

We got home yesterday afternoon around 4 PM. Nancy went food shopping while I crashed. Jill and Normunds got in late last night to find the parents sound asleep. Besides being a talented artist, Normunds is a very skilled woodworker whose day job is building furniture. He is also a great guy, a loving husband and wonderful son-in-law. He and Jill would be terrific parents (hint, hint). Normunds loves to help when he's here, whether it's cooking, which he's very good at, or fixing things (there's always a candidate or two for fixing at this house). I knew he'd want to help me repair the damage to the house from the tree but I really wanted them to just relax and enjoy themselves. Plus we hadn't seen them in a long time. Normunds had different ideas. According to Jill he talked all the way up about the projects he wanted to do when they got here, basically fix everything that was damaged. Well, needless to say I didn't win that argument. Jill and Normunds went out after breakfast and bought a new post and four new rails. Normunds then spent the next three hours rebuilding the fence with my sort-of help, while Jill and Nancy worked on cleaning up the yard. Jill also took pictures of the work in progress (she works several nights a week as a photographer for Madison Square Garden, shooting Knicks, Rangers and Liberty games; her day job is in publishing). The fence looks great, and is more solid than it was before the tree hit it.

After the tree hit

Normunds wields the chainsaw

Getting a good fit

Almost done

Tomorrow Pete and family arrive for a visit and we'll say goodbye to Jill and Normunds. But only for a week. We'll see them next weekend at my sister's for Easter. Can't wait.

Sugar

For any of you that might still be reading this blog after yesterday's extremely nerdy post, this may be as bad, though it has nothing to do with computers. Browsing through Google News headlines early this morning I noticed a link to an article from the New York Times Magazine about sugar and its possible toxicity, i.e., not just that it may make us fat and diabetic but that it may be poisoning us by promoting hypertension, heart disease and cancer. That last part caught my eye. We certainly don't think of sugar as a culprit in cancer or, for that matter, in the other two diseases. The article, which I'm guessing is going to appear in this Sunday's edition of the paper, is quite long, but fascinating. The piece is inspired by the ongoing research into the toxic effects of sugar by Robert Lustig, who is a leading expert on childhood obesity at the University of California, San Francisco, medical school. Lustig considers both refined sugar, the stuff we put in our coffee and on our cereal, as well as high fructose corn syrup (HFCS), the current bad guy in the sugar/obesity debate, to be essentially the same. According to Lustig, refined sugar consists of one molecule of glucose bonded to one molecule of fructose, making it a 50-50 mixture of the two. HFCS is 55% fructose and the remaining 45% is almost all glucose. Also, the more fructose, the sweeter tasting, which, along with the fact that it is cheaper, may explain the food processors' preference for using HFCS over refined sugar. An interesting sidelight is that HFCS began to replace sugar in soft drinks and other processed foods in the early 1980's because refined sugar was seen as the villain. Of course, now we've come full circle and HFCS is the villain, though it is still found in sodas and many other processed foods. The point of the article is that both are equally bad and for reasons beyond those we think of now.

I'll try to summarize Lustig's thesis: the difference between sugar consumed eating fresh fruit and that in processed foods like soda, fruit juices and bakery products is that in the latter the glucose and fructose hit the liver more quickly. If fructose hits the liver in sufficient quantity and with sufficient speed, the liver will convert much of it to fat, which induces insulin resistance. This phenomenon has been observed in experiments involving rodents. (An aside: There is no question that what occurs physiologically in animals in the lab will not necessarily happen to humans. However we can not ethically feed large doses of something to human subjects that we suspect to be harmful to them. So, as with the relationship between smoking and cancer, we can only demonstrate what may be called circumstantial evidence or an association between increased sugar consumption and diseases like heart disease and cancer, and then infer that there is likely a causal relation. We have shown experimentally that smoking causes cancer in lab rats, but cannot ethically perform the same experiments on humans. However comparisons of smoking rates and cancer in humans have consistently shown a positive relationship. Few people believe any more that smoking does not cause cancer.) To continue, metabolic syndrome, which is also called insulin resistance syndrome and includes risk factors like abdominal fat and high levels of triglycerides and LDL cholesterol, is itself a major risk factor for coronary heart disease. According to the author, when you deposit fat in the liver (as in consuming sugar from processed foods) you become insulin resistant.

But what about cancer? The connection between obesity, diabetes and cancer was first reported in 2004 in large population studies by researchers from the World Health Organization and is not controversial, according to the author. The basic mechanism: Insulin resistance leads to secreting more insulin and insulin  promotes tumor growth.The author quotes Craig Thompson, the head of the Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center in New York, to the effect that insulin provides the fuel and materials cancer cells need to grow and multiply. Also, insulin and insulin-like growth factor provide the signal for them to do it. Finally, the author quotes Lewis Cantley, the director of the Cancer Center at Beth-Israel Deaconess Medical Center, who states that "...up to 80 percent of all human cancers are driven by either mutations or environmental factors that work to enhance or mimic the effect of insulin on the incipient tumor cells."

That's a very brief and imperfect summary of a nine-page article. For anyone who wants to read the article, I will embed a link to the article here. It may or may not work. The new policy of the Times online allows 20 free articles per month; after that you have to subscribe. But they also allow free access beyond that to articles linked to from another website. Finally, I know it's hard to get excited about another health study when so many previous studies and their conclusions have later been contradicted. But personally I'd like to eat less sugar than I do now.

Tomorrow we head to Boston for my follow-up visit, then we'll go from there to Lenox.

Rainy Day Ramblings

I don't know if it's the dreary, rainy day here on the Cape or Day 6 kicking in (I hope not), but it's 3:30 PM and I still don't feel like I've fully woken up yet. We did get out for a walk at the mall this morning, running through a thunderstorm to get inside, and I got my half hour at Barnes and Noble while Nancy finished her walk. I found a book on Ubuntu Linux, my new favorite operating system. I learned a lot about the development of this wonderful free software. It derives from Unix, which was developed at Bell Labs, I think in the 60's, and the X operating system, an early windowing system developed at MIT and used long before Microsoft even dreamed of windows (I remember working with X on computers at RPI in the 80's when I was teaching at Siena, where we were still typing obscure commands into MS-DOS to get anything done). Of course I didn't buy the book, which was extremely technical, lots of command line stuff which made my eyes glaze over. Linux is more widely used for large, shared systems than by individuals on a single computer so far, and this book was written both for people like me and for system administrators and programmers. Thus the high geek quotient. But thanks to Ubuntu Linux, I now love my laptop, the same laptop that I was ready to throw away just a while ago. And I really don't need a manual - it's a very easy, intuitive system to work with. And there is an amazing amount of good, free software from Ubuntu. This morning I downloaded a photo processing application that has many of the capabilities of Photoshop, free of course. Learning how to use it is going to be a job, a project for another rainy day. So, if you're running a PC and you're frustrated with Windows, I highly recommend trying Linux.

We're heading to Lenox this Friday, after my follow up at Beth Israel. Jill and Normunds are coming up for the weekend and Pete and Melissa and the kids will join us Sunday through Tuesday. Then it's time to start repairing the damage to the house and generally getting the place in shape. We'll spend Easter with my extended family at my sister's in New Jersey and then head back to Lenox and the Cape.

My PED Kicks In

I don't look like Barry Bonds yet, my head hasn't grown two sizes and no new muscles, but my very own Performance Enhancing Drug, the steroid Prednisone, has definitely kicked in after two days. I woke up at 2 AM this morning wide awake and raring to go. After browsing the web, eating some pineapple slices and coconut ice cream (the appetite is going strong), I read for an hour or so and then managed to get back to sleep for an hour. Had a big breakfast at 5 AM and just got back from a brisk three mile walk. Experience tells me this won't last much past the end of the Prednisone on Tuesday, but it's kind of fun for now.

Falcon nesting under the bridge

Falcon in flight

We got lucky yesterday and spotted the peregrine falcons at their nesting site under the Sagamore Bridge. Even though they generally pass through the Cape about this time of year they almost never nest here. This is according to Chief Bird Watcher Dr. Pete, who got some great shots of the birds nesting and in flight. They are amazing flyers, not only the fastest birds but the fastest creatures on earth. They have been clocked flying at 200 mph, and the military has studied them with the goal of copying some of the bird's adaptations for extreme speed to its airplanes. We were lucky to see them fly as they went foraging. They looked like they had been fired from a slingshot, then were able to turn on a dime and get back to speed almost instantly. It was an awesome sight. Pete got these pictures with his Nikon 3000 using a 300 mm zoom lens. Good shooting!

It's another beautiful day on the Cape, warm, sunny and very little wind. Hopefully the weather will stay this way as we're planning to take a trip to the outer Cape tomorrow, along scenic route 6A to P-Town and the ocean.

Good News

We just got back from Boston for my next-to-last chemo treatment. We met first with Dr. T. and Jason to talk about my scan and what happens going forward. The scan results give dimensions and something called SUV for each mass, SUV being a measure of the intensity of the mass, how "lit up" it is on the scan. All three masses in my chest have shrunk significantly and become much less intensely active. For example, the largest mass previously measured about 10 cm in its largest dimension. That number is now 1.9 cm. The SUV's showed similar improvement, falling from double-digit values to numbers in the 3 - 4 range, barely significant. The other two masses had corresponding improvements. So I'm doing very well, and was right about where I should have been after four treatments. Thankfully I've tolerated the chemo very well, the last time being the best, and I expect this time to be at least as good. My numbers from today's labs are all good. Even the sodium is back where it should be. I'm eating well and putting on some weight, even getting some of the old pot belly back. So we're both very encouraged. My worrier-in-chief promises me she'll stop worrying now. And I don't feel like I somehow failed, which has been nagging me for the last week or so. As for what to do next, Dr. T. would like me to follow the chemo with radiation, as a kind of insurance policy. The radiation would start about a month after my last chemo and be two or three weeks of five day per week treatments. Most likely I'll have the radiation locally at Cape Cod Hospital.

Tomorrow we'll go with Pete and the kids to see a pair of peregrine falcons that are nesting near the Sagamore Bridge. Sounds like a lot of fun, and we're in for a rare sight if we spot them.

Travel

I love to travel. Nancy does, too, which is good. It's one of the many ways we're compatible. I just love to see new places, the more exotic the better. We're lucky in that we've been able to take some wonderful trips, both with our kids and with just the two of us. Even exploring new places here on the Cape or in the Berkshires is exciting. This morning we spent a few hours taking care of some business, completing re-enrollment forms for the VA that I had been putting off for several weeks, and then packed lunches and headed out to do some exploring. We found ourselves at a beautiful beach that we hadn't seen before and had our lunches there. I should mention that it's a warm, sunny, slightly windy day today, great beach weather. After we ate we drove through some more places we hadn't been to, then headed home (after a stop at the library to read the Times, which will probably become a habit now that the online edition is no longer free).

I'm reading a book called The Last Three Minutes, by an Australian physicist named Paul Davies. It's about the universe and what its ultimate fate may look like. It's somewhat dated, having been written in the early 1990's, but is very readable and to me, very exciting. I've always wanted to travel in space. It's not going to happen but it's fun to imagine, and to read about the strange, almost incomprehensible character of our universe. It also made me think about what a unique and beautiful place the earth is, and what terrible things we do to it and each other. We fight and kill each other in our endless wars and rape the environment so the obscenely rich corporations and individuals can become more obscenely rich. When I think of these things my usual optimism eludes me. I've read too much history to think we will ever stop killing each other. It seems our history is one of war and little else, wars over land, wars over religion, wars over tribalism; you name it and we'll fight over it. I find it hard to think of any period in history that I've read about when war was not the central event. Are we evolving beyond that? If so, it's hard to see today. Well, I guess that's all a little depressing, so I apologize. But I'm going to post this anyway.

I'm still feeling good and eating well. I'm anxious to hear Friday what the doc is going to recommend for treatment going forward. I suspect it's going to be a couple of additional cycles of chemo and/or radiation. I've been looking online at some lymphoma forums and that seems to be fairly common. I'd rather be done sooner, but whatever it takes, we'll do.

I Spy

We got back to the Cape Saturday shortly before noon, after a whirlwind trip to Lenox. I didn't get much done by way of repairs to the house, though Nancy did clean from top to bottom. But we had wonderful visits with family and old friends, and the house will be waiting for me to make it better when we finally return for real.

Yesterday we had the kids to ourselves while Pete went bird watching with a friend and Melissa started getting her garden in shape for the Spring. The weather was beautiful. Nancy had made up I Spy lists for both kids (Maddy's was all pictures, with big boxes to check off; once an elementary teacher always an elementary teacher) to find things like a nautical house, a wind turbine (there are two in our neighborhood), an evergreen tree, and so on. Jacob and I ended up walking about two miles; he was determined to find everything on his list. It was great fun. Back in the condo the kids spent the next hour painting rocks, making an unbelievable mess. But they had a great time doing it. Later Melissa brought over a delicious dinner of chicken picatta, pasta and salad, along with a homemade chili. Dessert was angel food cake and strawberries. Needless to say I stuffed myself.

I finally got the results of my PET scan last week. The tumor has shrunk and doesn't light up as brightly, which is good. I was hoping it would be gone entirely, but that probably wasn't realistic. When I go back to Beth Israel for my chemo this Friday Dr. T. will talk about what's next. It may be more chemo or radiation or both, or maybe I won't need anything more. We'll see. For now I feel good, still eating a lot and keeping pretty active.

Home Again

Got my PET scan Tuesday. Not to complain, but the drink I had to take for breakfast and lunch was truly, wretchedly disgusting. By the time of the scan (2 PM) I was hallucinating food. As always, blood was drawn when I first got there. We met with Jason, our NP, at 1:00 and he said the numbers looked good except for sodium, which was a little low again but not enough to worry about yet. But I have to start drinking less water again. He also said that he didn't expect all the cancer to be gone at this point, but that it should be shrunk significantly. He will email me the results sometime soon, hopefully by tomorrow.

The scan took a half hour, and was preceded by an injection of radioactive sugar followed by a wait of an hour for the sugar to be absorbed throughout my body. The radioactivity is absorbed much more thoroughly by the cancer cells than by regular healthy cells, so when the scan is done the cancer cells "light up" for the radiologist. It's really a very painless procedure but I would recommend anyone getting a PET scan to try to get it scheduled as early in the day as possible because you're not going to eat anything between supper the night before and the end of the scan.

It's nice to be home again. We went to lunch with Nancy's brother and three sisters (and one great-niece) yesterday. It was great fun. Even though they have all been emailing and calling a lot, we don't get to see them often enough. Nancy's brother Bob had his hair cut short in sympathy with me (he was going to get his head shaved bald but couldn't quite do it, but then I'm not quite bald yet either). Her sisters all brought gifts, from vitamins and holy water (from Lourdes) for me to birthday presents for our granddaughter Maddy. It was a beautiful, sunny and warm day. So, true to this winter, we have a major snowstorm coming this evening into tomorrow. The forecast is for 6 - 12 inches. Can't wait for spring.

I just finished installing Linux on my laptop. When I ordered the machine several years ago I made the mistake of choosing Windows Vista rather than XP. Big mistake! I finally decided I had suffered long enough with the beast and downloaded Ubuntu Linux, a free Unix-based operating system. I now have a brand-new old computer. It is fast, stable (Vista would have locked up at least once in the time it took to type the last paragraph) and looks and feels like my Mac. I'm very excited...

Medicare

We got a thick packet from Medicare today, all the charges I've accrued since the beginning of this thing. It's a very enlightening look into our health care system. Some of the charges seem reasonable while others seem excessive to say the least. And Medicare approves anywhere from ten percent or less to one-half or more or the provider's charges. For example, Amount Charged $3623.00, Medicare Approved $556.55. Or, Amount Charged $1361.00, Medicare Approved $262.23. I'm not sure of the rhyme or reason behind it all, why there's such a disconnect between what the providers charge and Medicare approves (and why some of the charges are so high in the first place), but I'm just glad I don't have to pay for it. What does a person without any health insurance do? Not get sick? I guess that would work, but it seems a little chancy to me.

Tomorrow we head up to Boston again, this time for a PET scan. It's a mid-course check to see what's left of the cancer (hopefully none). Either way, I have to finish the last two chemo cycles. I had my "last meal" tonight, steak (grilled, no sauce or rub of any kind) and eggs (scrambled, no milk, cooked in butter). Nothing else, no toast, ketchup, salsa, veggies, salad, fruit, nothing. But tomorrow is worse. Breakfast will be a bottle of PrepScan (I haven't tasted it yet but I'm sure it will be disgusting). Lunch will be the same. And that's all the food (if you can call it that) until after the scan is done. The PET scan will be at 2 PM, after which we're going to head home to Lenox for a few days.

After a couple of days of feeling not so great, low energy, low appetite, some nausea, I'm feeling fine again, lots of energy, and eating everything in sight. And I still haven't lost any more hair. I'm pretty sure now that I've lost all I'm going to lose. But I still look like a cartoon zombie figure when I wake up in the morning.

We had another busy weekend. Jen, our youngest, took the train up from Brooklyn Friday and stayed through Sunday. The kids spent the day with us Saturday so they and their auntie had a lot of quality time together. That night Chef Nancy cooked up a dinner feast for everyone. Sunday we visited at their house and everyone came back to the condo for a leftovers lunch. We hated to see Jen go, as did the kids, but we'll see her, and the rest of the family, in New Jersey for Easter. I can't wait.

Day 6

Like clockwork, day 6 struck again. Yesterday I started feeling lousy, pretty much right on schedule. No fever but slightly nauseous and very low energy. Food has lost its appeal and I'm mostly eating now just to get something inside. It's really not too bad though, no fever so far. But today I rarely left my recliner, just didn't have the energy. Slept a lot and even skipped my walk. But if things go as they have before, and there's no fever, I should bounce back in a few days.

Tomorrow our youngest, Jen, is coming up from Brooklyn to spend the weekend with us and the grandkids (and their mom and dad too). We can't wait. The little guys are as excited as we are. They miss all their aunties. Jen is lucky to have a weekend off. The school where she's studying for her masters in acupuncture has classes most weekends and some weeknights. She works full time so it's a brutal schedule. But a she'll be done in a little over a year.

We woke up to snow this morning! Serious snow. But being the Cape, it had mostly melted by this afternoon and the sun even made a few brief appearances. But now it's snowing again. Someone obviously didn't get the word that it's Spring now.

A Great Weekend

Friday's chemo went quicker this time, about 3 1/2 hours in the chair. I guess they finally figured out that I can tolerate the first drug, Rituximab (it is the R in R-CHOP), the one that takes the longest to infuse. It is a "new breed" drug that targets my specific cancer cells and not other cells, but can have pretty bad side effects in some people. So far I've been lucky and haven't had a problem with it. So we got out of Boston early and beat the rush hour back to the Cape.

That night Chef Nancy made a delicious steak dinner and then she went to a ceremony at the high school dedicating the local Veterans for Peace chapter to a young soldier from the Cape who returned from the fighting in Iraq with PTSD and eventually ended up committing suicide. I had intended to go but was feeling wiped out and nauseous and so stayed home. But by Saturday morning I felt much better and we commenced an incredibly busy, fun and family-filled weekend. Pete and the grandkids came over Saturday morning (their mom went to the flower show with her mom) and were joined around noon by our nephew Dan and his sister Beth, with her one-year old son, Kyle. The kids had a ball, the three of them going through just about every toy we  have and managing to scatter them throughout the house by the end of the day. Our little guys hadn't seen Dan in a few years but it wasn't long before they were sitting in his lap reading stories. Later we guys went out back to play some frisbee and soccer. Six or seven of the local kids, all about the same age as our Jacob, joined us for soccer. There were constantly changing sides, the best being Pete, Dan and I against the totally undisciplined, wacky mob of seven and eight year old boys. I felt pretty good, probably the prednisone kicking in. It was a really nice day and we're so glad Beth and Dan decided to visit. For Dan, our world traveler, it's back to San Francisco and then this winter to Antarctica (it'll be summer there) for more research.

Sunday was another beautiful day, bright sun all day and temps in the 50's. Still feeling pretty energetic (still on prednisone, day 3 of 5), I took a brisk two mile walk in the morning. In the afternoon we went letterboxing with Pete and the kids. The letterboxes were hidden along a trail in a wooded, hilly preserve in South Yarmouth. It was great fun. The theme of the 10 letterboxes was Eric Carle's book Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See. The stamps, carved by an artist, were animals, their names and colors given in Spanish. Thanks to preschool, Maddy and Jacob knew the animals and colors in Spanish. The directions were good and we found all the letterboxes. Jacob found most of them and Maddy helped helped her daddy stamp their book at each stop. The hiking was reminiscent of the Berkshires. We felt like we could have been hiking Pleasant Valley in Lenox. It felt good to be climbing some hills for a change. Not many of those here on the Cape. Last night Melissa had us over for dinner - delicious roasted chicken, sweet potatoes and salad. I have to admit I totally crashed last night, but what a wonderful weekend.

Still feeling good this morning. I think this cycle is going to be the best one, hopefully without any fever. We'll see.

Shamrocks and Flowers

We just got back from the Boston Flower Show. It was a beautiful day in Boston, temperature in the low 60's, bright sun and no wind. After an hour or so at the show we headed outside and took a long walk along the harbor, one of our favorite places to walk in the city. After lunch at a restaurant nearby (we tried to get seats at an Irish pub, The Whiskey Priest, which had the Boston police pipe and drum band playing in honor of St. Patrick's day, but there was no way - it was jammed) we went back to the show and saw the rest of the exhibits. The ride up and back was easy, very light traffic. All in all a very nice day. And tomorrow it's back to Boston for chemo number four (of six). It's starting to seem routine now, except that I don't really know how I'll feel afterward. I do know I won't eat a burger and fries for dinner. Learned that lesson last time.

Saturday my nephew the world traveler and adventurer will visit us from Antarctica via Hawaii (I'm so jealous), hopefully with his sister and her family in tow. We're looking forward to it as are our little guys who haven't seen their even littler cousin since Christmas and their big cousin in several years.

Many thanks to all the folks who have contributed so generously to sponsor me in the Relay for Life. There is still plenty of time to donate, either online or by check, if you wish to.

The Emperor

I am a bookstore's worst nightmare. I love to browse, can spend hours in a bookstore, but rarely buy a book. Instead I write down the title of any book that appeals to me and then look for it in the library. With the ease of ordering books through inter-library loan online, I know I can always get the book eventually. It just goes against my grain to buy something that I can borrow for free. Too many  years of living on a teacher's salary, I guess. Gift certificates to bookstores are almost impossible for me to spend. I agonize over every potential purchase, picture myself checking the book out at the library, and ultimately am unable to make the purchase. So I usually end up buying something like a calendar or a reference book, like the Dummies guide to my new camera (appropriately named in my case).  This winter I've had even more browsing time. With the very cold weather Nancy and I were taking our morning walks at the mall nearby. She walks about twice as far as I do now, so we would walk a couple of miles together and then I would go to Barnes and Noble while she finished her walk. It was on one of those mornings that I picked up The Emperor of All Maladies to browse. It's a book about cancer, what the author calls a biography of cancer. And what a book! The author, Siddhartha Mukherjee, is a young cancer physician and researcher at Columbia University. He is also an amazing writer. I found the book in our library and have been reading it for a couple of weeks. It is literature that reads like the best of thrillers. The author traces cancer from it's first recorded mention in ancient Egypt through ancient Greece and Rome and the often terrible treatments in the centuries leading up to the modern era. He describes the development of radiation and chemotherapy treatments in the 19th and 20th centuries, with the attendant suffering of patients and political and professional battles. If you're wondering who Farber, as in Dana-Farber Institute, is or how the Jimmy Fund came about and who Jimmy is, it's all in the book. It's a big book, almost 500 pages, but I'm more than halfway through it. It's very hard to put down.

The King's Speech was every bit as good as everyone said. I highly recommend it. I'm still feeling good and still can't stop eating, have even put on a pound.

A Nice Visit

We got back to the Cape yesterday after almost a week back home in Lenox. It was great to visit with friends and neighbors who have been so supportive and so missed. And we had some wonderful family time with my sisters and brothers-in-law. We got back here just in time to see our grandson's Destination Imagination presentation. Seven second-graders conceived and wrote the skit, something about good and bad bugs (it was very hard to hear them speak; I haven't had a chance to ask him just what it was about yet, but I think he was an evil praying mantis). It was very well done, with great costumes, made by the kids themselves. 

Not much new to report. I feel fine, the fever did not return and we have a busy week ahead. A couple of appointments (taxes, finally, and my local oncologist for follow-up), the Boston flower show, and Friday my fourth chemo. Later today we're going to see The King's Speech, which everybody has told us we absolutely must see. I hope you've noticed my announcement above about the Relay for Life. If you have already contributed, thank you so much. If not, please consider sponsoring me in the Relay with a donation. Thanks.

Back Home

We got home to Lenox Monday afternoon to find the fallen tree and its attendant mess gone, thanks to our neighbors Scott, Mike and Steve. There appears to be no damage to the roof and minor damage to the siding and the stairway. Even the fence mostly survived; I'm only going to have to replace one post and one or two rails. All work for the warm spring weather in June. So it could have been a lot worse.

Its nice to be home. Tuesday was a beautiful day in Lenox, cold (27 degrees) but sunny and no wind at all. Sort of perfect winter weather. Last night my sister in Sheffield had us down for a delicious dinner, and we'll see them again later this week. Today is not as sunny and a little windier but still I think Spring is in the air. We just got back from a short walk in town where we stopped in on some old friends. Tomorrow I hope to stop by school for a quick visit. My sister and brother-in-law are coming up from New Jersey tomorrow to spend a few days with us, and we'll head back to the Cape Saturday morning.

I'm in day 13 of my latest chemo cycle (three down, three to go). Days 10 - 14 have been the problematic ones before, when fever and nausea have hit. So far I have just been feeling more tired than usual, generally starting in the afternoon. But no fever or nausea, so I think this one is going to be better. My hair seems to have stopped shedding of late. Dare I think it has stopped shedding altogether? Heck, why not. I'll go with that.

On, Wisconsin! (or, In Defense of Teachers)

I promise this will be the only somewhat political thing I will write in this blog. If you're a fan of Scott Walker, or you think teachers are lazy bums gorging themselves at the public teat, then don't read this. Or do read this, but try to do so with an open mind. I'm a teacher, but this is not about me. My teaching has been at the high school and college level. Nancy, on the other hand, is an elementary school teacher, with 24 years of teaching before she retired. Elementary teachers are the real heroes of education. Yes her official school day started at 8:40 AM and ended at 3:15 PM, but that was only a fraction of her workday. She typically got to school around 7:30 AM to prepare for the day's lessons - setting up her room for learning activities, contacting parents, collaborating with colleagues, and so on. And she rarely left school before 4:30 or 5 PM. And, of course, she wasn't alone. Take a ride past your local elementary school at 5 or 5:30 PM and notice the cars in the parking lot. Those are teachers' cars, the teachers being in their classrooms evaluating the day's lessons, preparing for the next day's lessons, or in the teachers' room running off handouts for the next day. And what do they do when they get home? Well, Nancy would sit down and work on lesson plans (she had at least six different subjects to prepare each day), grade papers, prepare quizzes and/or tests, design and build special projects, etc. This would go on, typically, from the time she got home until 8 or 9 at night, with time off to cook and eat dinner and maybe do some other chores - while being the mother of school-age children for most of those years. Why all this preparation? Is she just a fanatic? Well, try to imagine having 20 or more 10-year-olds (or 7-year-olds, or pick your favorite elementary age) in your room, with the job of teaching them concepts of mathematics or social studies or reading or science or writing. If you're a parent, think of having your kids and another 15 or 20 of their friends in your house for most of the day and keeping them interested as you try to teach them new ideas and skills. Try that for 180 days a year, with a big test at the end, which will supposedly measure your competence, and whether you should be retained or fired. (This is another topic  altogether. I'll just throw in an analogy here: let's see who's the better race driver, you or me. I'll drive a Ferrari and you get a Ford Pinto - remember those? - and we'll have a race. Winner gets to keep his job, loser gets fired. Kind of like comparing test performance of poor, often underfed and perhaps under-parented inner-city students with students from nice middle or upper-middle class communities, like Lenox, and using that as a basis for evaluating teachers.) Scott Walker isn't interested in solving his budget problems. If he was, he wouldn't have started his reign by giving huge tax breaks to his rich and corporate sponsors. He wants to break the public sector unions, the teacher unions being the most prominent. Even with unions. teachers, and other public sector workers, make less, for comparable qualifications, than private sector workers (remember that public school teachers must have at least a bachelor's degree, and in most states a master's degree). A look around the world will show that the countries with the highest achieving students treat teaching as a respected profession and pay teachers accordingly. So congratulations to all the pro-union protesters in Wisconsin (and Ohio and Indiana) and a pox on arrogant, obfuscating Scott Walker and his ilk in other states.

If you've made it this far, an update. It was back to Boston yesterday for a follow-up, the usual blood-letting and meeting with Jason, our NP. My numbers were all good, even better than last time. I feel pretty good, after having a slight fever Thursday and kind of crashing after getting home yesterday (we walked to the MFA after the hospital - about a mile each way - and spent a couple of hours with the exhibits before heading home).  We're looking forward to getting home to Lenox next week.

A Tree Grows in Lenox

And grows. And grows some more. For 60 or more years. Until it gets really big. Maybe 50 feet or higher. A very large ash tree standing off the side of our driveway. Standing, that is, until two nights ago when a really strong wind blew through the neighborhood and rearranged things a bit. Now the tree lies shattered across our driveway, up our hill and right where our split rail fence used to stand. And a branch or two is on the roof. Thanks to our wonderful neighbors the situation is under control. I was first alerted Tuesday afternoon by Michelle, our neighbor across the street who has been faithfully watching over our house since we came to the Cape. Then young Josh, next door, went up and took a bunch of pictures so I could see the damage and also send them to my insurance company. And another neighbor, Scott, is going to cut up the tree to use for firewood. So things are under control and I feel much less stressed now than before. We are truly blessed to have such great neighbors who are also long-time friends.

From the pictures it looks like the damage isn't too bad. There may be some damaged roof tiles and definitely minor damage to the siding in a couple of spots as well as some damage to the bluestone stairway. We're hoping to get home next week, if my body cooperates, so I can get a look up close at the damage. I'm pretty sure I can do all of the repairs myself when we move back in May. Here are some of Josh's pictures:

As for me, I'm doing pretty well six days out from my third chemo. This is the time when problems of fever and nausea have started before, but so far I feel just a little tired. But we're still walking each day (only two miles for me but Nancy still does her four miles) and I'm still eating pretty well. Tomorrow it's back to Beth Israel for testing again. So if all goes well we'll be back in Lenox next week.

OOPS...

I hope no one tried to make Pahklava yesterday from the recipe I posted. There was a bit of a mistake in the ingredients, to wit, the 1/2 lb. of butter is NOT for the filling. It is for buttering the layers of dough, as mentioned in the recipe. My apologies to you and to Editor Nancy, who was not home when I finished the post and just caught the mistake this morning. Mea culpa.

Here is the corrected recipe:

Nancy's Armenian-Assyrian-Irish Pahklava

For the filling:                                                  For the syrup:

                   2 cups finely chopped walnuts                        2 cups sugar

                   1 tsp. cinnamon                                              1 cup water

                   3 tablespoons sugar                                       1/2 tsp.  lemon juice

                                                                                          Boil for 1 min., cool for 5 min.

1 package filo dough                                                           

1/2 lb. butter (melt butter in microwave)

In a rectangular baking pan put down 10 layers of filo dough. Brush butter on each layer.

Layer the filling evenly over the dough and pack down hard

Put the rest of the dough over the filling. Butter each layer.

Before baking, cut into diamond-shaped pieces. (make parallel cuts about 2 in. apart
     lengthwise in the longer direction, then make parallel diagonal cuts to get the diamond
     shapes. Dipping your knife in cold water will help make clean cuts.)

Bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes.

Serve with syrup. Enjoy!

Pahklava

Got my third round of chemo yesterday, three more to go. It took a long time, five hours in the chair, but I was well equipped with a book ("Fierce Heart", about Makaha, on the west side of Oahu and the heart of Hawaiian surfing culture), two newspapers, my ipod (I'm currently listening to "Sharpe's Sword", by Bernard Cornwell, about the British and French fighting in Spain in 1812), and a bunch of sudokus. Still I managed to fall asleep for the last hour or so. We left the  hospital around 4PM and found ourselves in the rush hour traffic out of Boston. An hour later we were maybe 20 miles along the way and jammed in traffic, so we got off to eat at a 99 restaurant. Displaying my usual high level of common sense, I ordered a cheeseburger with fries (got to keep that red blood count up). Needless to say at 2:30AM I parted ways with the meal, after just managing to keep it down for the previous hour in bed. But I felt better afterward and had a good breakfast this morning. Thanks to my younger daughter and future acupuncturist (one more year of study to go), I had my ginger tea, am wearing my acupressure wrist bands, and also applied acupressure to points on both lower legs as she had instructed a while ago. And I feel fine so far.

But I really wanted to write today about the delicious pahklava Chef Nancy made for Dr. T.and Jason. Dr. T. is from Greece, and would be well acquainted with baklava, the Greek version of the Armenian pastry we call pahklava. Why does my Irish wife know how to make pahklava? A little background: I am of Armenian-Assyrian descent. My paternal grandparents, Marderos and Hiaganoosh, came to New York from a small town in eastern Turkey, part of historical Armenia, in the early 1900's to escape the Turkish massacre of its Christian minorities, of which the largest was the Armenian. The killing by outright slaughter or forced marches through the desert of a large portion of the Armenian population is considered by most of the world to be the first genocide of the 20th century, and the inspiration to Hitler for the genocide of the Jews during World War II. Sadly, the Turkish government has refused, to this date, to admit to its role in the genocide. My mother's large Assyrian family also emigrated from eastern Turkey to escape the massacres. They came from the city of Diarbakir, which had a large Assyrian minority. She was the youngest of seven children and less than a year old when they arrived in the U.S. Unlike Armenians, who have had a homeland right up to the present day Republic of Armenia, there has not been an Assyria since ancient times. The Assyrians were a warlike people who in the seventh century BC had the greatest empire in the ancient world, comprising most of Mesopotamia and Egypt. I remember reading at an exhibit of Assyrian ruins at the British Museum that "their neighbors were not happy to see the Assyrians come around", certainly a bit of British understatement. Assyrians now are scattered throughout the Middle East, particularly in Iraq, site of their ancient homeland. Assyrians, not to be confused with modern-day Syrians, who are Arab and Muslim, are Christians and, in my mother's case, Eastern Rite Catholic, a branch of the Roman Catholic church. My father's family, like most Armenians, were Armenian Apostolic, the national church of Armenia. But the Turks did not discriminate in their massacres; all the Christian minorities were fair game for slaughter. This included Assyrians and Greeks as well as Armenians. But back to the pahklava. Nancy learned to cook many Armenian dishes from my mother. Assyrians  speak Armenian and have the same foods, perhaps with minor variations, as well as the same music and dances and customs in general as the Armenians. In fact, growing up, I considered myself Armenian and it wasn't until I was older that I even knew my mother was Assyrian.

Nancy's Armenian-Assyrian-Irish Pahklava

(See corrected recipe in next post)

For the filling:                                                  For the syrup:

                   2 cups finely chopped walnuts                        2 cups sugar

                   1 tsp. cinnamon                                              1 cup water

                   3 tablespoons sugar                                       1/2 tsp.  lemon juice

                                                                                          Boil for 1 min., cool for 5 min.

1 package filo dough                                                           

1/2 lb. butter (melt butter in microwave)

In a rectangular baking pan put down 10 layers of filo dough. Butter each layer.

Layer the filling evenly over the dough and pack down hard

Put the rest of the dough over the filling. Butter each layer.

Before baking, cut into diamond-shaped pieces. (make parallel cuts about 2 in. apart
     lengthwise in the longer direction, then make parallel diagonal cuts to get the diamond
     shapes. Dipping your knife in cold water will help make clean cuts.)

Bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes.

Serve with syrup. Enjoy!